Archive | January, 2012

A World Unseen: Floating Thoughts

9 Jan

Woke up startled. Nap over. When did nap begin? Why am I napping, slumped over myself, on a couch? Where did the sun go? Why is the T.V. on but black? Where did my Italian film go? Unexpected serene is scary too.

Blinds open and clock staring BLATANTLY: another hour of life gone – disappeared to a world unseen to me. Another evening quickly passing with nothing “productive” done. Neighbors moving around their kitchen, lights shine bright through the darkened world between our buildings. Not even thoughts venture there.

Where did my thoughts go? Asylum for a short while. Brain saying No. Need to focus and get something done. Sheets to fill out; plans to plan; walls to climb and mirrors to shine; brain to switch from ‘blocked’ to overdrive the moment I lie in bed at 9 – until then, it’s a force to get myself to do something before the night is through. Though ten will come quickly and soon, I’ll realize it’s all over. Serene being totally unforgiving, and that’s why humans invented music.

Or that’s what I tell myself to sooth those moments.